Emails to Zim
by someretardedchick
Summary: Uhh...Zim and Dib discover the Internet and use it to send emails to each other. (MY FIRST ATTEMPT AT A FAN FIC! YAY! o.o) Chapter 2 now up XD
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: This is purely fictional. Invader ZIM and all related characters belong to Jhonen Vasquez and Nickelodeon. So don't come after me with pitchforks and torches, mmmmmmkay? o__o Oh, and for the slow-minded, irken.org and thelastfrontier.com are not actual web servers. And of course, the email addresses in these are purely fictitious. Meaning they're not real. So if you try to send an email to one of them, then ur st00pid. :P  
  
[message to Irken army]  
Zim: Hello? Yes, this is Zim. I have found a form of interaction that humans use through speedy voiceless cyber-messages. I have decided to settle some scores with one in particular; a slimy earth child who seems to be onto my plans. I will settle the issue and return to my duties immediately.  
  
From: ZIM! [iamzim@irken.org]  
To: Dib [cloaked_shadow678@thelastfrontier.com]  
Subject: DOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111  
  
hello dib i have fonud a way 2 reech yor puny brainz by NET HAHAHA!!! a;ll filthy stniking huminz shall suffer HORIBLY. wen i am don with my big super thingy of DOOM! yu shall suffer at the hands of ZIM! nd the almity irkne army will ruuuuule! yu! yu and yor considrebly pointy FINGERZZZ shal;l sucum 2 the power of ZIM! i will b wachign yu dib veri closly. JUST YU WATE TIL I RAIN DOOM ON AL YOU FILTHY EARTH PIGGEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11  
  
sinseerly  
ZIM!  
  
---  
  
From: "Dib" (cloaked_shadow678@thelastfrontier.com)  
To: "ZIM!" (iamzim@irken.org)  
Subject: Re: DOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111  
  
Oh, come on. You call this a message of "doom?" You can't even spell the word "very" right, for crying out loud!!! Get a grip, Zim. When I am done with my experiments, THE WHOLE WORLD will know that YOU are an ALIEN!!! YES, an ALIEN, Zim! Like we ALL SEE THAT YOU ARE!!! ...Or maybe just me, but that's beside the point. One of these days, Zim, one of these days, your true form and your so-called "plans" for dominating Earth will be revealed and you will meet your demise. JUST YOU WAIT!  
  
Dib  
  
---  
  
From: ZIM! [iamzim@irken.org]  
To: Dib [cloaked_shadow678@thelastfrontier.com]  
Subject: Re: DOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111  
  
well YU hav a FREEKISHLY LARJ HED!!!!!!1 i promis yu that JUST BEEKUZ I DONT SPEL GOOD DUZ NOT MEEN I WONT RUUUUUUUUULE YUUUUUUU!!!!!!!! wen i hav my way with erath the almity irken army will DESTROY YUUUU!1 i am desynign a big-like big super thingy of DOOM! that wil;l eradicaet yur puny planit inot TINY SPOTS OF MOLECULIR DOOOOOOM!!!!!!1111 adn with gir in SUPERMODE i will DESTROY YUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!11 just yu wate, flithy earht child! YUR TYME FOR DOWNFAL WILL KUM!1  
  
sinseerly  
ZIM!  
  
---  
  
From: "Dib" (cloaked_shadow678@thelastfrontier.com)  
To: "ZIM!" (iamzim@irken.org)  
Subject: Re: DOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111  
  
MY HEAD IS NOT LARGE!! Did you know that you repeat yourself a lot, Zim? And did you know that you are A COMPLETE AND TOTAL IDIOT? It's funny how you prance around stating all these plans of grandeur. If you're so busy working on this "big super thingy of DOOM!", how come you have the time to email a "filthy earth child" such as myself? Really, Zim, think through the logics here. YOU ARE NOT GOING TO GET AWAY WITH THIS!!!  
  
Dib  
  
---  
  
From: ZIM! [iamzim@irken.org]  
To: Dib [cloaked_shadow678@thelastfrontier.com]  
Subject: Re: DOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111  
  
DAER YU KWESCHUN MEEE?!?!? i am ZIM! and i am ALWAEZ RITE!!!1 SO BOW DOWN TO ME NOOOW! yu huminz and yor foolish teknoligeez! my irken masheenz ar bi far mor potint then yor dusgustengly infirier...thingys!!! WEN I COMPLEET MY BIG SUPER THINGY OF DOOM!, YU WILL ALL FEAL THE RATH OF ZIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111  
  
sinseerly  
ZIM!  
  
---  
  
From: "Dib" (cloaked_shadow678@thelastfrontier.com)  
To: "ZIM!" (iamzim@irken.org)  
Subject: Re: DOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111  
  
Greetings. This is Dib's father, Prof. Membrane. I find that you are a highly disturbed and delusional yet rather interesting child. However, I think that maybe you should spend sometime away from your computer - and away from my son, Dib. Your sanity level is highly questionable and your messages most unintelligible. Have you ever considered professional counseling? It can prove highly therapeutic for your type. I suggest you look into it; it's not too far out of your league and would it would be a great thing for you in the long run.  
  
Good luck in all you endeavor.  
Prof. Membrane  
  
  
  
  
That's it for now. Chapter two coming soon! XD R/R what I have so far if you wish. =] 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two up! :] R/R if you wish.  
  
  
After Dib's father found the computer unattended with his inbox still open, Zim dutifully replied...  
  
From: ZIM! [iamzim@irken.org]  
To: Dib [cloaked_shadow678@thelastfrontier.com]  
Subject: DOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111  
  
wat iz thys THERIPY YU SPEEK OF? tell meeee, 4 i am not veri leenyant 2 mortles hoo disobay the orderz of ZIM! foolish huminz, yu do not reelyze that i hav yu a;; in the pawm of my handz! wonse i hav suxesfuly mastird my injeenyos mastirpees, yu wil all suffer at the handz of ZIM! wile yu sit thear, mindlesly kunso0ming food, I WIL B WACHIN YUUUUUUU!!!!!!!11  
  
sinseerly  
ZIM!  
  
---  
  
From: "Dib" (cloaked_shadow678@thelastfrontier.com)  
To: "ZIM!" (iamzim@irken.org)  
Subject: Re: DOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111  
  
Yeah, I don't know what my dad said, but if he mentioned therapy... well, that's not necessarily your problem, Zim. Your problem is that you are too STUPID to realize your own faults! When will you give it up? Your "plans" are stupid, your house is stupid, your skin is stupid and GREEN, and speaking of green things, that little creature you carry along with you everywhere is STUPID!!!! NONE of this will ever help you! I can't believe I'm the only one who sees that you are truly an alien. Are people this dumb? I mean, COME ON! IT'S SO OBVIOUS! When I finally prove to the world that you are an alien, I'll be laughing in your ugly green face while world-renowned and well-respected scientists finally give me the credit I've so righteously deserved since the start of your pathetic appearance in Ms. Bitters' classroom! IN YOUR FACE, ZIM!  
  
Dib  
  
---  
  
Upon Zim's leaving the computer in the middle of composing an email due to the unexpected dysfunction of one of the lawn gnomes, Gir prances stupidly into the room. In awe of what he sees on the glowing screen, he sits down upon his master's seat and begins to type. (Translations will be in brackets below.)  
  
From: ZIM! [iamzim@irken.org]  
To: Dib [cloaked_shadow678@thelastfrontier.com]  
Subject: DOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111  
  
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh;akdoekdkcjvjbkfoplepclc,dkfjgjeo30333455566678990  
  
*************************************************\\\\\\\\\\sdfaeweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrr  
sedeeedfdeedeededdffggggggjjj11111111111XcDD//  
  
["Ooooooooooooooooo!!!!!! The glow...it speaks to meeee. *sniff*"]  
  
---  
  
From: "Dib" (cloaked_shadow678@thelastfrontier.com)  
To: "ZIM!" (iamzim@irken.org)  
Subject: Re: DOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111  
  
Um...what was that? Did you completely lose your mind, Zim? No, wait... you lost that a long time ago.  
  
Dib  
  
---  
  
From: ZIM! [iamzim@irken.org]  
To: Dib [cloaked_shadow678@thelastfrontier.com]  
Subject: DOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111  
  
watevir it sed, OBAY IT!!1 OBAY IT LYKE IT WUZ YOR SLYMIE EARTH MOTHIR! DARE YU KWESCHUN THE WURD OF ZIM!???/ I WIL EET YOR FILTHY EARTH FEET 4 THAT!!!!!!!!!111 if this wer na akchule konfruntayshin wit yu, DIB, i wood b making yu bow down 2 meeeeeeeee! WEN THE DETH OF THE LAST HOBO ON EARTH OCKIRZ, YU WIL FYNLEE SEE YOR TROO MASTIR, WHO IS I, ZIM!!!  
EVIL LAFF!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
sinseerly  
ZIM!  
  
---  
  
Another little incident occurs. Gaz happens to be using the computer one night, and upon noticing her faulty brother's stupidity in not requiring a password in order to log into his account, Gaz acquires access to all of his emails.   
  
From: "Dib" (cloaked_shadow678@thelastfrontier.com)  
To: "ZIM!" (iamzim@irken.org)  
Subject: ur st00pid  
  
hi  
ur that st00pid gr33n k1d d1b 4lw4ys t4lks 4b0ut, 4r3nt u?  
w3ll ur 3m41ls r st00pid.  
bye  
  
-gaz (g4me sl4ve r0x0rz!!)  
  
  
Chapter 3 soon x] 


End file.
